Day 8: Christmas List 2010

There is no Christmas List for this year. I do not see a point in maintaining a list. I won't be celebrating this year. Seeing as how I will be alone on December 25 this year, I won't be putting up any decorations. I won't be buying any gifts. I'm not asking for any gifts. I am going to do the same thing that I did last year. Instead of buying gifts for people, I am going to be donating that money to charity. I ask everyone to do the same for me. Instead of buying me something, donate the money to a charity. I don't care which one. Red Cross, Breast Cancer Awareness, the local homeless shelter, the preservation of Victorian architecture. I don't care. Something you care about.

I will be donating to the Free the Slaves charity this year. I read an article about modern slavery in a recent issue of Reader's Digest. It's tragic that there are more slaves in the world today than any other period in human history.

Yes, I will be alone on Christmas. My parents have left for a trip to Sudan. Their church is supporting a church growth effort over there, and my parents have gone to provide supplies and services for the people. They will be gone until the second week of January. I am here to work and take care of the house and feed the cat in their absence.

It's not like I'll be missing anything. Sorry to any family members who read this post, but our Christmases are very boring. At 9am we gather for the only family breakfast in the entire year. at 9:30 we gather around the tree. My mother makes the same joke that I should play Santa Claus and hand out the presents. The opening of the presents goes until 10am at which point Christmas is virtually over. I usually go back to bed or surf the web. At around 3pm I remember that there's a marathon of A Christmas Story going on, so I sit down to watch that.

No decorations will be going up. The only festive thing I did was bring out some game pieces I repainted with Santa Claus outfits. That took all of two minutes.

My parents have done this before. Left for Sudan for the holidays while I stayed behind. That year was particularly hard for me. I saw no one all day on Christmas. I didn't even see Gaylin. He probably didn't want to hear me pissing and moaning about being alone on Christmas. I think I went out to the movies that day. The Phantom of the Opera, I think.

As of right now, I have received several offers of hospitality. Some from family members. Some from friends. One from one of my co-workers. A couple from people at church.

It's encouraging to think that there are people who don't want me to be alone on Christmas. But I really don't know what I'll actually do. As of December 8th, it's not that big of a deal. But I know myself enough to know that it could get worse the closer we get to the 25th. The feeling of loneliness that I'm feeling right now could deepen, causing me to spiral and become more depressed. Then on the 25th I won't want to be with anyone.

I mean, I'm getting more depressed as I write about it. Dammit. Sometimes I think I'm a glutton for sorrow. I should probably stop now before this gets any worse.

I'll close with a picture of my repainted Christmas game pieces.